Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: How many can you afford?
Ode to Me
by George W. Bush, Poetizer
Poor people aren't necessarily killers.
Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.
Eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class.
See, the Senate wants to take away some of the powers of the Administrative branch.
I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense.
Do you realize we've got 250 million years of coal?
Every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty...I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas.
Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.
They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.
God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear.
Eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race.
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three
Animal Super Bowl
During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.
At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.
The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"
"I did," said the centipede.
"Who stopped the rhino?"
"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.
"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"
"Well, that was me as well," said the centipede.
"So where were you during the first half?" demanded the coach.
"Well," said the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."
s little boys.
Q: What do u find in an empty nose?
A: Finger prints.
© 2010-2016 Funny Jokes - All Right Reserved